Mythical Spirits is a spirits producer ‘aimed at a new generation who expect their drink to be as Instagram-worthy as it is delicious.” Their latest offering does not sound particularly palate pleasing, but it sure checks that social media box. Meet ‘F*ckboy Tears Gin Liqueur.’
Please note that the product is not “gin,” but “gin liqueur.” Despite our hopes for a nice salinization, there are, in reality, no actual tears involved. But, there is passionfruit and mango flavoring mixed in. (The official materials claim “all that sweet retribution” transformed the salty tears.
No mention is made of juniper.
But, there is glitter in the booze! Because Instagram. “Did we mention these tears are shimmery?” boasts the promotional materials. “Swirl their tears around your glass to unlock a torrential wash of holographic shimmer, knowing no fuckboy is gonna mess you around again.”
The best part of the drink might be these segment of the official description which seem to exorcise the author’s personal experiences.
“When he doesn’t believe in labels, starts speaking to you after months of silence, sends you ‘you up?’ or ‘Wyd? xx’ at 2 AM, begs for nudes and says all his exes are crazy… He’s a fuckboy,” reads the copy. “You don’t deserve that. So we made them cry, then we bottled their sadness.”
The description also neglected to list ABV–or any traditional details about a spirit for that matter. However, the retailer did suggest making a spritz by combining the tears with prosecco, tonic water and a slice of grapefruit.
The marketing ploy is in line with Mythical Spirits’ ethos. The Tears end of their portfolio also includes Unicorn Tears, Dragon Tears, Pixie Tears, and Mermaid Tears.
Mythical’s products are sold exclusively through Firebox, an online, novelty retailer. Despite plans to bring the line across the pond, for now it is only available in the UK where a 20cl bottle goes for £19.99. Firebox is advertising a US price of $25 if/when supplies become available in the States.