Trump Jabs At ‘Liberal Paper Straws’ As His Campaign Starts Selling Reusable Plastic Straws

By Neat Pour Staff |

President Trump is very well documented in his dangerously ignorant claim that climate change is a “hoax” created by Chinese propagandists. Yet, the short fingered vulgarian’s campaign is now selling recyclable straws as a fundraiser and ranting about paper straws. Because liberals.

Trump’s straws are laser engraved with his name—of course. Nine inches long and reusable, a 10-pack goes for $15. But, don’t worry, the profits will go to the Trump-Pence 2020 campaign.

The new merch was unveiled by his campaign manager Brad Parscale. “I’m so over paper straws, and I’m sure you are too. Much like most liberal ideas, paper straws don’t work and they fall apart instantly. That’s why we just launched our latest product – Official Trump Straws,” Parscale wrote in an email. “Now you can finally be free from liberal paper straws that fall apart within minutes and ruin your drink.”

Editor’s Note: Neat Pour has covered straw reform extensively for about two years. In that period, we have never seen any evidence of a liberal preference for paper straws, simply an opposition to single use plastic.

Apparently, the topic’s ascension into Trump’s tasing points began with a tweet from Parscale last week. “I’m so over paper straws. #LiberalProgress, he declared. “This is exactly what they would do to the economy as well. Squeeze it until it doesn’t work.”

That tweet led a reporter to follow up and ask the POTUS about his stance on sippers.

“I do think we have bigger problems than plastic straws,” replied the President, suddenly feigning interest in sustainability. “You know, it’s interesting about plastic straws. So, you have a little straw. But what about the plates, the wrappers and everything else that are much bigger and they’re made of the same material? So the straws are interesting. Everybody focuses on the straws. There’s a lot of other things to focus. But it’s an interesting question.”

A few days later, the site rolled out the Trump straws and politicized the threat.

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