Following the release of Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker, almost every aspect of the episodic space opera has been dissected. However, the digital deluge of dissections missed one critical element. So, Neat Pour felt it imperative to address the Wuher, the talented yet problematic bartender working the day shift at Chalmun’s Spaceport Cantina in Mos Eisley.
The Cantina’s standing bar alone seems to accommodate about 20 guests Another 40 can be found at the surrounding tables, but no cocktail server is to be seen. Wuher works it all solo—impressive.
And, the patrons on Mos Eisley are no cakewalk. Let’s face it, even Luke is not a good guest. To order a drink, he reaches over the bar, pulls on Wuher’s robe, points, and demands, “I’ll have one of those.”
Then, there’s Obi Wan Kenobi. This “kind, elderly soul” walks into the place solely to make a sketchy deal, doesn’t even order a drink, and dismembers another guest for kicks.
And, those are the “good guys.” Chalmun’s regulars include Greedo, Boba Fett, and Cornelius Evazan who has the death sentence on twelve systems.
The only admirable customer in the joint is Han Solo. At least, the smuggler has the courtesy to tip the bartender and apologize for the mess after he kills Greedo.
The Bar Program
Despite the poor clientele, the Cantina is no shot and beer joint. For starters, the establishment features a full hookah program, popular with customers like the Tonnika sisters.
The liquid side of the menu is pretty impressive as well. According to the canonical book, From A Certain Point of View,—yes, there is an entire story about the Cantina bartender, Wuher spent his youth studying biochemistry and developing ExCo levels of molecular mixology skills. Specifically, he learned how to formulate libations that cater to the preferences of the various alien species that frequent the bar.
Collins glasses seem to be the preferred serving vessel, but there are all sorts of tiki-esque mugs around the Cantina.
Still, the rest of service looks pretty simple. Wuher looks like he’s working with batched cocktails; all of the drinks are dispensed from large vats on the backbar connected to some sort of tap system. The bar actually doesn’t have any wells. (There is a lowboy at the top of the U though.)
Simple setup aside, Wuher does not place much of a premium on customer service. He shows up for work looking like he rolled out of bed in the stockroom. He doesn’t greet the customers let alone make any effort to determine their needs over even offer a drink list. A glass of water is clearly out of the question here.
Wuher: Talent Exclipsed By Hate
Sadly, Wuher is classic Star Wars tragic character. He is skilled at his craft, but his own intolerance and anger prevent him from achieving greatness.
Wuher’s lines are scarce, but unfortunately his five sentences in A New Hope belie great hate. The only time he speaks is to 86 C3PO and R2D2. “Hey! We don’t serve their kind here,” bellows Wuher. “Your droids. They’ll have to wait outside. We don’t want them here.”
Through the book, we learn that Wuher’s bias against droids was born after robot troops killed his parents during the Clone Wars. Indeed, we’re told that the only reason that R2 and 3PO made it past the door was because the droid detector was broken on that day.
The traumatic past is sympathetic, but no excuse for prejudice. Wuher’s bias clearly hindered his career, leaving him unhappy with a bad shift at a low tipping bar on Tatooine. Perhaps if he could overcome his prejudices, he might land a job at one of those fancy craft joints on Corsica. He certainly has some technical skills.
A Disturbance In The Force
Wuher was played by Ted Burnett. an actor known for the popular BBC series Britannia Hospital and Let’s Get Laid played Wuher. In the original trailer for Episode IV, Burnett can be seen shouting a cut line, “No blasters in here!”
The snippet of dialogue is delivered with a full on Cockney accent. George Lucas did not like that. In the final cut, an unnamed voice actor is dubbed over Burnett.
Sadly, the switch is a metaphor for Wuher and the Spaceport Cantina. Like many bars, the locale is pivotal to the story—this where Luke meets Han—yet, it is neglected in the so-called comprehensive wrap of the final movie.
Mr. Abrams, do as you wish to the Jedi lineage, but don’t ignore our favorite bar. That is a step too far!