Here, at Neat Pour HQ, we love a good beer pun. We just foam over with excitement fermenting about new ways to tap this brand of wordplay. However, U.S. District Judge Jennifer A. Dorsey really laid down a marker of the art this week.
In her decision on a case alleging that Red Robin portion beer, Dorsey peppered at least nine beer puns into the text.
Before we get to the fun part, let’s look at the fairly important case for a moment. Basically, plaintiffs led by Christopher Bruun allege that Red Robin cheated them out of beer by selling 14oz chalices of Stella Artois as pints. (As you may recall, a pint is defined as 16 ounces.)
The restaurant chain attempted to invoke the Class Action Fairness Act (CAFA), which moves cases involving more than $5m in sales to federal courts. Round Robin submitted evidence that their chain restaurants sold $16 million in Stella Artois over four years, not to mention the plenty more of the Belgian pilsner via their franchisees.
Dorsey was not impressed and dismissed the chain’s attempt to move jurisdictions. In her ruling, she countered that Red Robin’s total Stella sales were not relevant. Rather, she explained—with puns—the case only involved the missing ounces.
“Because Red Robin’s figures are mostly foam and fail to satisfy CAFA’s jurisdictional amount-in-controversy threshold, I grant the motion,” she declared.
“It is not reasonable to assume that every drop of Stella Artois beer” sold should be involved in the suit. “So again, temperance must be exercised,” the judge said, when determining the exact dollar amount in controversy.
Dorsey wrote that Bruun’s motion ‘took the fizz out of’ Red Robin’s argument. She added that the chain’s accounting taps into the wrong numbers and ‘distills’ the info short of the ‘fill line’.
Oh. For good measure, she critiques the way the Robin lawyers included their fees as a ‘strange brew.’